I’ve been mad. When I was mad, I was fully convinced, to the bottom of my soul, that certain things were meant to be a certain way, and that certain other things were absolutely, indisputably true. In fact, all these things turned out to be 100% bollocks and brainfarts.
I’m not suggesting you’re mad, and I’m not being condescending. What I am doing is pointing out that my own direct experience of an odd brain state has taught me that absolute certainty and sudden, shocking, crystalline clarity is not, in and of itself, a reliable indication that what is perceived or known or believed is in fact what is real.
If I were having the experiences you’ve described here, I’d also be curious as hell to find out what they were all about; and I would indeed be keeping a dream journal, as detailed as I could possibly make it. I’d be obsessively documenting dates, times, themes, feelings, anything that struck me as significant, and anything else I could possibly remember as soon as I woke up. I’d also be keeping a déja rêvé journal, with dates, times, and descriptions of situations; but I would not link the two journals. I’d be doing my level best to avoid drawing any conclusions at all until I had at least three years’ worth of journal entries; then I’d give both journals to other people, preferably other people with no particular axe to grind, and ask them for a fair evaluation. Maybe even post the whole lot somewhere online, then come back here and ask this crowd to pick them over.
I’d also be talking to the JREF and negotiating some kind of test protocol – not with the expectation that I’d win their million, but with the expectation that the protocol design process would clarify my own thinking; and I’d adapt my journal-keeping procedures in light of those negotiations.
Best of luck! Minds are incredibly fun things to explore.
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