So I guess I find myself here because i’m looking for some sort of answer, no… I know that I am looking for real answers.
I’m scared something might be wrong in my head. This would not surprise me because I have lived a very trying life for someone my age. A part of me believes that I am traumatized, and all that I am feeling is a direct result of all I have been through but, I really don’t feel crazy. Also, when I dig into my memory, I can recall things that I just brushed off before… things I guess I wasn’t aware of until now. On the other hand, it could be early stages of schizophrenia, but… I’m rational. More rational then I ever was before.
I see people. I feel people. I wake up in the middle of the night and know, for a fact, absolute fact that someone is there. When I turn the light on, I still hear them moving. I’m perfectly fine going through my head of all the things I have to do that day, and all of a sudden I can hear one sided conversations but I cannot tell if its in my head, or if I’m actually hearing things. The noises though, the movement is so much clearer. I have dreams with people in them, and then I will see them at the gas station the next day.
What pushed me over the edge is when I dreamt I was counting inventory at work, and i felt as if something terrible was coming for me, but I was counting this inventory in my back yard, in my shed… when the black shadow figure finally came, I felt so much fear, anxiety… and a strong feeling that this thing wanted to hurt me. The dream ended and I awoke in a cold sweat, then i heard something across the room. The next morning I go into work to discover two of my co-managers were stealing money and product. It was as if I was being warned…
It follows me to my house, my boyfriends home, and to work. My boy friend has even seen me go crazy as if someone is there. looking in every room, knowing, just some how knowing its with me. The feeling is overwhelming.
Also, my mother was murdered when I was 13, but this started before then.
Someone, please just tell me if i’m crazy… i’d rather go get help now, then wait till i’ve completely lost my mind,
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